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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?